Friday 5 August 2011

Dublin Speed Bumps to be "repaired" for €210,000

A reader, Sam, emailed me the above clip from the Herald which reported on Dublin City Council's bill of €210,000 to "repair" speed bumps it blighted the city with between 6 and 12 years ago.  Apparently there are 156 of these things in their domain, though it seems like a lot more to me.

Is it not ironic, that when there has been a big hoo-haa about South Dublin County Council working in conjunction with FixYourStreet to "respond" to complaints of potholes within 48 hours, that the half-wits of Dublin City Council are looking to actively restore road imperfections in the city, at considerable expense?  

Look DCC.  Don't bother on my account.  I will continue to slow down to a crawl for your speed bumps no matter what their state, before dropping down to first gear and revving my engine up to 7,200 RPM - engine howling like a diving Stuka -  in order to reach the next one rapidly before slamming on the brakes, therefore killing polar bears and annoying the local residents* in the process. 

With feet hammering on the pedals like an especially manic Michael Flatley, I will employ said tactic simply to shake off the driver up my arse who goes over these things like they don't exist... regardless of their condition.

So save yourselves - or us, to be accurate - a bit of money and just let them erode.

* Apologies to the polar bears.

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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

gm this is justchump change for the second richest country in the wurld as per the oirish toimes circa 2O07 LOL of course we are not greece are we? BH

The Gombeen Man said...

We certainly aren't, Mr BH. At least they have a bit of sunshine in Greece, so there's some escape from the misery of it all...

albert hall said...

I curse the "speed bumps" in Dublin. Why the name "speed bump?" I thought they were installed to slow traffic down so should they be re-named "slow bumps?" Anyway, whatever speed they are crossed at they can cause dreadful damage to a vehicle's tyres which, in turn can make said tyres unsafe to use. Note the President of the United States exit from the Dail in his tank driven very slowly. I bet he will not be back again. HM Queen Elizabeth II was provided with a cross country 4x4 for her visit . Does that not say something. These bumps can also upset the steering tracking making the car unsafe to use. The roads in Dublin already make driving there a nightmare due to the poor surfacing. Motorists visiting to Ireland beware - your holiday could cost you your life. That sign should be posted at the exit to every port.

The Gombeen Man said...

The damage caused to cars' wheel alignment and tyres is something that does not attract sufficent debate, Albert. Even if you hit one of these things too fast accidentally - never mind habitually, as inattentive, unconcerned drivers do - they can knock out the tracking or damage sidewalls and seals. What's more, many are very poorly marked.

What makes me laugh is the possibilty that the busybodies demanding bumps are motivated by the increased exhaust noise. Some younger drivers think it is cool to kit their '95 Civic with a "sports" exhaust which does nothing to make the car go faster, but makes it sound as though it does.

Slowing down for bumps (in fairness most of them care enough about their cars to do this) and changing down a gear to accelerate out of it means they cause even more noise pollution for the curtain-tweakers.

Dakota said...

Eh that €210,000 every 6 to 12 years will only go up. So less money for the priorities and additional funds to maintain speed bumps. Remind you of anything? The celtic waste material years, by any chance, emmm? Looks like another QUANGO in the offing long term for this. Oh yes the island with no positive imagination but lots of negative individuals......Another problem here is, there shouldn't be as much money to throw at things but seemingly this sum can be found? My feeling is, if it was 2 million it could be as easily sourced. What's equally laughable, if they had to fill in one pothole, then it's almost a State occasion.

The Gombeen Man said...

Sure we're living in Quango Central, D...